The over-sized shirt clung to my bikini. My friends chased one another in the ocean, seagulls laughed, condensation dripped down a glass of lemonade as Dad’s voice crashed over me in torrents. I wilted under the glaring sun. (38 words)
YeahWrite MicroProse #377 Prompt: In exactly 38 words, incorporate heat without using the words: heat, hot, sweat, burn, swelter.
Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash
Imaginings 
Excellent imagery. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
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Great details in this. I liked the parallel between the scorching sun and the father’s words.
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Dad’s words and the sun…can be a deadly combination. Lovely use of words here!
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I like the imagery here, especially a “voice crash(ing) over…in torrents”, which sounds so much like waves. I was left wondering what Dad was saying (not specifically, but like, what was his tone; was he yelling or being critical or telling the narrator to put a shirt on or laughing at the people or what). It seems negative since in the next sentence you use the word “wilting”, which creates a negative tone, despite the happy scene. Also, I really want a cold lemonade now 🙂
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I love how you equated the Dad’s gaze and the glaring sun here.
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I like how much of this story is told between the lines and in the contrasts: the over-sized shirt, the cheerfulness of the scene, the wilting of the narrator – and the title gives us just that last bit of context. We harp on “showing, not telling,” and this is an excellent example.
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Really well written! 🙂
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